So many thoughts...
I might be easily distracted.
Kirk would tell you that’s an understatement—just ask him.
I’ve been mentally writing about friendship for almost a week. I have my thoughts mostly ready to go, and that was my plan for today’s blog. Okay, it was supposed to be the weekly Monday blog which means this is about two weeks late—but sometimes we need to be flexible. So now when it’s time to sit down and focus on putting my thoughts on the screen, my brain wants nothing to do with that nonsense.
Instead my head is going 90 miles an hour in several directions. I do this sometimes, but it’s definitely worse when I’m tired or stressed out. So really I do this more than sometimes—I do this often.
Apparently right now is no exception. And it’s been a weird several days for sleep, so that makes sense. Plus while my new job is (so far) much lower stress than my old job, transition is always stressful. Again, just ask Kirk.
So instead of focusing on the points I had in mind (and hope to remember when I finally get back to this topic), my mind is elsewhere. Or maybe the problem is that it’s nowhere… I’m not even sure anymore.
My mind is recapping this week’s orientation sessions along with this past weekend’s visit with friends and (as always) Nolan, Kirk, and general household matters. For example:
-Nolan really liked that puffcorn I made this weekend… I should make some just for him sometime.
We call it Magic Puffcorn or Unicorn Poop because Crack feels somehow inappropriate.
-Oh yeah—I get to wear jeans to work tomorrow. Hooray!
-I wonder what ever DID happen to my first college roommate… I can’t believe that friend thought to look her up and I never did. I take that back—I can believe that I never looked her up.
-Should I join the wellness center at work? Maybe if I booked some sessions with a personal trainer and focused on my core strength, I could rid myself of this pesky intermittent back pain…
-Wow—the director of security on campus has a really impressive resumé. Note to self: Do not pick a fight with her… not that I would. She would definitely kick my ass.
-So if we had meatballs for dinner tonight and Kirk needs leftovers tomorrow and Thursday since he’ll have work to do, that leaves us with beef and veggies, jambalaya or fried rice for dinner options until I can get to the grocery store again… But when will we run out of soup? Because that might move grocery shopping up a few days. And why does this feel like a story problem from middle school math class?
-[Insert whatever song (probably Hanson or maybe Ben Folds or even one of Nolan’s ABC Mouse songs from YouTube) is currently stuck in my head]
-I wonder when my new lunch bag will get here… Our cafeteria is super good, but maybe if I had an exciting lunch bag I’d be more excited to bring my lunch more often. I mean, I can always still go get a cookie from the cafeteria once in a while—those darned cookies are SO DANG GOOD.
-I hope Nolan sleeps better tonight… He seemed pretty pooped, but I’ve said that before. Plus he had a good-sized dose of melatonin, so that should help. Wait, are we low on melatonin? Let me compare some pricing…
-I wish Nolan hadn’t broken his chair—it seemed like the perfect solution for his room for him to get the sensory input he seems to crave… I don’t understand it, but that boy loves to teeter. I wonder if that’s why he likes the anti-gravity chairs at Menard’s. Wait a minute, is that our solution? Or do they make anti-gravity chairs that also rock? That would be perfect… Or maybe even just a lounging rocker? Let me just do a little comparison shopping quick… Oh—and let’s not forget to check the weight limits on these because I know how rough he can be.
-I wish I had a cafeteria cookie…
-I need to remember to take a different water bottle or cup to work… I think mine’s started to leak. I’d better leave one on the counter so that I don’t forget to take it in the morning. [Note: I will definitely forget to take it on the first morning. That’s almost as reliable as Old Faithful.]
I think that’s a pretty good idea of what’s happening in my head. It’s not uncommon. Kirk’s made jokes for years that I have ADHD (I think that started way back when we were newlyweds to be honest). But I wouldn’t be surprised if I were suddenly diagnosed with ADHD or even Autism Spectrum Disorder—I’ve known for years that I’m not exactly neurotypical, though which flavor of atypical I am doesn’t really matter to me at this point in my life.
But maybe that’s part of what helps me get by as Nolan’s mom and Kirk’s wife. The fact that my brain works differently from Kirk’s brain serves as a constant reminder that everyone’s brains work differently. Sure, Nolan’s neurological differences are more obvious than the differences between Kirk and I, but it helps to remind me to stop and pay attention. It reminds me to be empathetic and try to understand. And mostly, it reminds me that we need to listen much harder that when communication is challenging because those differences in how our brains work impacts how we communicate.
Right now, though, I’m still hyper-focusing on a chair for Nolan to get that teetering feeling from… That and cafeteria cookies.